Meet the team : Lima Bravo

Lima Bravo : Brown Smuggling Masters

Lima Bravo will be joining Team South as chief trade envoys to everywhere south of Derby.

Following the catastrophic and predictable failure of a trade deal negotiated by Boris Johnson, there are crippling supply chain issues across the UK. Some people expected the sexually incontinent latin phrase-book to be able to negotiate well with Europeans, but it turns out he is as useful as a chocolate teapot. Team South saw this coming by simply reviewing his track record of being literally 100% wrong about everything literally 100% of the time. They made plans. They made plans within plans.

As the rest of the country slowly decayed due to the supply chain chaos, many tried to fix the problem. Putin instructed his walking meat-puppet, Nigel Farage to requisition all Tippman supplies and patrol for imports. Farage hired a set of boats, but due to a Russian fuel embargo he has run out of diesel and has been reduced to punting in the Channel like a pretend posh person.

The trade envoys of Lima Bravo have been able to easily cross the channel. They didn't even need to use a boat; due to their lanky demeanour they are tall enough to just walk over the shallower parts of the seabed.

Lima Bravo on their way to NvS 2003

However, this did not mean they could risk customs issues. Being caught by the great punting cunt would lead to diplomatic difficulties, as well as possible jail time. While most of Lima Bravo could just step over the prison walls to escape, there would still be legal issues that would follow. They couldn't risk obvious methods, so used a Dutch tradition.

All supplies were concealed in their bruine smokkel portemonnee (brown smuggling wallets).

During the entire cost of living crisis, the entire of Team South has been enjoying a wealth of supplies. Weird cheese and stroopwaffles are available for breakfasts. Bicycles that somehow still have a design from the 1920's are now commonplace. As part of this infrastructure upgrade, many Dutch have migrated. Unsurprisingly, the quality of English has improved, and as Dutch people are all fluent in at least 4 languages, the UK average of languages known is slowly approaching 0.83!

Also; tanned, dirty-blonde haired women whose waists are around above the average UK woman's shoulders are now common. These women are all over markets, though they are limited to outdoor markets due to headroom constraints.

Team South Logistics Squad: 3 lighters for a Euro

Critically, they have also fixed a major part of the economy by smuggling in thousands of lighters. Struggling British markets can now re-start the "3 lighters for £1" offers again.

These unparalleled brown smugglers are key to the supply routes of the South, and we welcome their reliable, if smelly, resources.

Lima Bravo

Team South will be well stocked and ready to go.