Meet the team : Norfolk Chaos

Norfolk Chaos : Asexually Reproducing DNA Masters

Team South have acquired the advanced scientist corps known as Norfolk Chaos.

Originally called Norfolk Structure, they went through an aggressive buy out by Joey Essex Project Management Ltd who had them pivot into advanced experimental genetic engineering. Located in their hyper advanced laboratories above Poundland, the eggheads at Norfolk Chaos were able to synthesise hormonal implants ensuring youthful vigour and paintball prowess.

Using cutting edge biotech resources available at the Wetherspoons off Church Street, DOCTOR ESSEX has resynthesed a formula using leftover classic beef burger spliced with locally sourced cromer crab.

And some dog sick from outside the Red Lion.

When cross synthesised with paintballs, a Tipmann A5 trigger, and a NinjaBlender, these primal ingredients form a brown coloured HYPER SERUM that Norfolk Structure (at this point called Norfolk Late Invoices and Unpaid Car Tax) have been self injecting.

Over the last few years Norfolk Chaos have been injecting "The Brown" and in increasingly large amounts. Their deeply muscular and definitely not pre-diabetic bodies have slowly evolved into hyper advanced paintball fighting machines. However, there have been some minor side effects:

  • Entirely new genetic structure hyper adapted to paintball
  • Also extremely adapted to talking in a slightly sub-human weird accent
  • ... no wait, that's just Norfolk
  • Entirely silicon based life forms
  • Reclassified as a new status: hyper virgins

Perfect Paintballing Physique

However, the most notable side effect came a few months after PROFESSOR ESSEX ESQUIRE began adding simultaneous portions of Brancaster Mussels. This caused all at Norfolk Structure (who were running under the legal name "Norfolk 3 months in rent arrears and with a broken washing machine") to start asexually reproducing at a frightening rate. They have already doubled in numbers, and this growth seems sustainable and shockingly, permanent.

With this secret, Team South saw an opportunity. They bought Norfolk Structure (then known as "Norfolk on the Brown") from VICE CHANCELLOR ESSEX, but in a classic manoeuvre, they paid him in Japanese Yen, and he was too stupid to notice. They were officially rebranded as Norfolk Chaos and added to the roster.

This year, their numbers have doubled. By next year, they will be bringing 14336 players. By NvS 2025 they will be bringing 14.6 million, which is estimated to be 20.4% of the UK population.

Norfolk Chaos