Meet the team : Rangers

Rangers : Time Travelling Bum Sanders

Team South have traversed time and space to recruit team Rangers. Why time and space you ask? Foolish reader... you think in such three-dimensional ways.

Many years ago, Rangers were recruited by a mysterious interdimensional traveller simply known as "Bez". He is a member of a secretive chrono-warrior sect called "The Happy Mondays" who are fighting the Temporal Wars. This is a conflict that has been raging through the eons across dimensions not yet understood by humanity. Well, except for Bez obviously.

And probably Steven Fry... he's well smart.

This eternal struggle is to stop the radical factions of the N.O.R.F. The N.O.R.F. jump through time making sure:

  • your keys are moved to an annoying place you definitely didn't leave them in (just as you need to leave in a rush)
  • to take a smelly dump in any public location just before you use it
  • that the MacDonalds milkshake machines are broken on hot days
  • your engine light comes on, then goes off just as you park up at the mechanics

Rangers were recruited by Bez, however this only occurred due to an all-to-familiar admin error. Their official diplomat, Bones, was completely half-cut when he was approached by Bez. He misunderstood this cosmic event, thinking he was going to The Tempura Wars, which is the Chinese down the road from the Dog and Duck.

This massive misunderstanding was soon in the past (literally), as Rangers were whisked away in a tardis like device that looked suspiciously like a skip full of out-of-date rum thrown out from Wetherspoons.

Rangers are unsung heroes of another dimension. Powered by cider and Bez's time travelling "special powder", they fight their eternal struggle against evil for the good of all mankind. Well, mainly Team South.

Rangers travel through time

Rangers will travel through time to North Versus South 2023, a bit like the Terminator movies. Except that when they arrive they won't be naked. Most of them will just be hungover and covered in dog piss. And late.

The South plan to use Rangers as a time jumping force, enabling them to do things such as knowing the outcomes of fights in advance. However, their main objective will be to ensure that SAS's toilet roll is replaced with sandpaper.

No one can hold an objective with a freshly sanded brown eye.

We welcome Rangers to Team South!