|Date||15th - 16th September 2018|
|Venue||Route de Helling, 57920 Veckring, France|
|Players||Charlie Two, Gero|
|Result||Win / Win|
The Veckring Game has been on our paintballing wish list for years, as it has strong reviews and good recommendations. The site is located right at the Luxemburgian-French-German border near Schengen. The actual site is located in a small village and consists of a old French-Scottish army barracks from the 1930s and the only paintballing site ever visited by Winston Churchill.
The barracks served as home for the garrison of a nearby fort (Ouvrage Hackenberg) of the Maginot-Line. The Maginot line was a series of underground bunker networks connected with artillery emplacements, underground barracks for 1000 soldiers, ammo dumps, kitchen and hospitals build in between the world wars to deter the Germans from attacking France.
Which it failed to do.
The gun emplacements are set up above the Moselle valley and can fire 4 to 6 miles in any direction. It is every Bond villain's wet dream, stretching over more than a mile fully equipped with a French wine cellar. We decided to visit the place, which was fascinating and even included a slightly terrifying ride on an old ammunition train.
Inspired by this European monument we decided to go to Schengen to solve Brexit by signing over most of Britain except for the City of London and parts of Warwickshire to Bulgaria. As part of this visit, we registered several identities, with Ricktion now being a Bulgarian citizen by the name of Slivowicz Blíny. He was last seen getting into the culture.
There were 4 games of 1 hour with 30 minute breaks. The amazing thing about the site is that there were a total of eight buildings of the barracks in play, many of which had two floors to fight on. One of the buildings offered a cellar, which was positively terrifying.
Respawn came in shape of two sexy French-German nurses who took their jolly good time wiping everybody down. This was easily the most pleasant respawn service, in contrast to some bearded middle-aged bloke from Birmingham at NvS... but beggars can't be choosers. It also made for an exciting game, as being hit took you out of the game for 5 – 10 min.
Another feature was the baylonian mixture of languages, as each nationality on site had their own set of language skills, i.e. Luxemburgians (English, German, French), Dutch (Dutch, French, German, English), Belgian (French, Dutch), Germans (English, German) and French (French only!) players always needed to agree on some means of communication.
This ended up in approaching your team mates and yelling at them:
English, Deutsch, Francais? followed
by Brexit-ish negotiations and some sort of orders being exchanged. This experience has been already called
'The David Davis', and already made the game worth it. We were wondering how British players, who spoke
mainly the Black language of Mordor, Brexit or Orkish dialects would do at this game.
The games were 'Alien vs. Predator' themed. In the first game, we were supposed to build a bridge, carry a cage into an enemy zone, trap a creature and bring it back to base. The bridge consisted of massive wooden planks that needed two players to carry. The 'creature' was an actual player to be carried in a wooden cage by four other players.
As members of team blue, we got coordinated pretty quick and managed to build the bridge before team blue could appear which already scored us one third of points. After that, there was a pitch battle around a two-story building occupied by team red. We first encircled this, then cleared it out room by room in SWAT style. While this sounds cool, it was nerve-wrecking and most of us shat our pants at least once.
About 40 min into the game we found out that one red player had stormed ahead early in the game, lost one plank of the bridge and this prevented them from completing all other objectives. This became the most heavily coveted and defended piece of biomass in the whole of France, including Eva Green's under-carriage.
This game involved stealing 'Predator Eggs' which were crates located in a central building known as 'the Tea Building'. We quickly got to the building which was located at the edge of the field, but got shot at from a nearby two-level building. Gero and me decided to split up, with me grabbing some of mes amies/my team mates and again clearing the building room by room.... this time with fresh underwear.
This worked beautifully leaving us a sweet spot to even shoot into the enemy respawn. On securing the building, I Iinked up with Gero near the Tea Building which was already to 80% occupied by Team Blue. By this time, we had already removed all Predator Eggs, scoring complete victory.
After a nice lunch break eating up our French sniper camo, the paintball continued. Game 3 involved searching for more lost Predator Eggs which were yellow-red plastic balls. Each ball scored points for the team but was also part of a lottery for individual prizes. These were not to be sniffed it, and included paintball masks and even a marker. Team blue quickly won a lot of ground and collected the majority of Eggs making this 3 wins in a row.
This also included a number of ego pumping Valhalla style charges into a building, which did not go unnoticed.
This game was called 'Spinning Cross' and very surprisingly involved exactly that, a cross that needed to be turned 360° to score a point for your team. Only one player could score at a time. There were two crosses set up on small hills/mounts, both in exposed positions. We quickly secured the cross in the middle/lower part of the field despite fierce fighting. Our team scored a couple of dozen times in the first twenty minutes with only few charges from Team Red.
At around 30 min into the game things had calmed down. We had secured the area, and crowds of up to seven
players around the cross scoring like mad. However, a very relaxed blue player then joined us and said
Why the effort? as the second cross was left undisputed by team red for the whole game. Blue players
were spinning the cross quicker than a Spitfire's propeller at top speed... being piloted by Nigel Farage,
except not crashing like a tool this time.
This game must have ended somewhere in the range of 10 to the power of 6, although international Professor of Outer Space, Brian Cox, is still calculating the accurate final tally to this day.
Fully victorious, we packed our stuff in, went for a meal that would send us straight to Vegan Hell and a
shower to return to the players party at 9 in the evening. The party involved movies from previous games
and photos of the day's game. Also, on the benches around us, there was talk of
those madmen wearing EU
flags, referring the maximally patriotic UE away flags. We responded with typically British
understatement and dignity, immediately declaring a trade war then invading Argentina.
The evening included a seemingly endless lottery with badly drunk French yelling numbers in German through the room and the promise of some strippers of undetermined phenotype. As Universal Exports is on the forefront of Gender equality, International Relations and healthly living, we decided to retire to our 4 room holiday flat after a maximum of 13 to 14 lapdances. We then moved on to get pissed on Cloudy Strongbow Cider, watched the footy and bitched about Bayern Munich which was very much deserved.
As Saturday's game felt like kicking a sad puppy dog in the face for a whole day, the game's organizer rearranged the squads to give red a fighting chance. In this game, only players passing a short parcour style assault course were supposed to score points. We tried it, but with heavy legs and a full vest, this almost ended in injury. So we gave up, joining the bulk of the team who decided to randomly shoot red players.
Finally, we packed it in to take the three hour trip home to the Fatherland.
Veckring is definitely a game worth considering. It is well priced, located on an exciting site and the fights inside and around the buildings were epic. The games were quite action-oriented in contrast to the long walks included in NvS. The site suffers ever so slightly from being narrow, with that resulting in stalemates. In fact, this can be overcome by teamwork and a bit of madness.
The language chaos, good food, nice landscape and unusual games make up for this by far though. It is a game that we will try to visit more often in the future.