Paintship Troopers writeup
|Date||16th June 2018|
|Venue||Paintball-Loehme, Loeme, Berlin|
|Players||Charlie Two, Gero|
|Result||Partial Victory (Loss)|
Paintship Troopers is one of the medium-sized, but well organized games in Germany; it's fun as well as slightly competitive which is perfect. As with all paintballing sites in Eastern Germany, the 400 x 600m site was built by a young and bare-chested Vladimir Putin as a Soviet shelter for AA missiles. It includes a large bunker, a fort, several villages and a lot of forest which make navigation and firefights somewhat challenging but rewarding. It is located just 15 miles from the Berlin city center.
Weather at Paintship Troopers is generally hot and dry, but on this event it actually felt like fighting on the surface of Mercury, and we are not talking about its night side for you solar pedants. Any type of fire, smoke grenades or thoughts of Mila Kunis were strictly forbidden, as there was a real chance of torching down the side with us actually on it. The UE satelite development team were deported before the game.
Paintship Troopers, similar to Diamond Wars, focuses on the never-ending struggle of Bugs and Mobile Infantry. Very similar to the movies, this normally involves Mobile Infantry getting a beating for the whole day, then making a miraculous comeback at the end to leave the field partially victorious. Over the day, there are 6 games with 15 min breaks. Fighting for the Mobile Infantry, we tried a new and confusing strategy to catch the bugs of guard: we set up the new pacifistic Mobile Infantry squad and broke one of our markers before the first game.
This one was a simple hold and control - get to several bases on site and keep them for 45 minutes. The site was somewhat peculiar, as Mobile Infantry and bug entry point were located on one side of the field 100m away from one another. They were divided by a village and a large bunker with a secret underground entrance (which is as dark as a bear's back end). This was sadly only accessible from one side, unlike your mother. Most of the 45 minutes involved charging this bunker and getting thrashed. In the end we decided to consider the beating a partial victory and tactically broke another marker.
This was a tricky one: Every player got 2 game chips. There were 4 boxes with increasing numbers (1 - 4) distributed over the field to drop them into with the highest scoring one was in between the Mobile Infantry and bug's respawn point. As part of our pacifistic approach, Mobile Infantry decided to start with only 1/10 of the bugs players. The bugs therefore loaded the 4-point box with their chips and won the game in a few minutes. In addition, one of our team left the field with the front end of a third marker in one hand and the stock in the other. In line with our socialist 'sword into plows' ideology, there was much rejoicing because of this.
In the break we took the moral lead, and encouraged and commended our fellow Mobile Infantry comrades to actually show up, casually throwing around a few words such as Gulag, KGB and death camp.
This game was a little confusing. It involved a hold and control operation in several positions all over the field. However, the confusion came from the the challenge of finding the positions, as the field was pretty overgrown. Once again, our pacifist approach shone through and we shot a lot at mostly nonsentient forms of herbal life, but miraculously won the game. This was the first game we teamed up with some green guys from Berlin because they had a shouty but convincing lady with them.
For this one, we had to defend a fort with 2m walls, with turrets and other fortifications from a bug onslaught. The concept was the we were waiting for a relief force of Mobile Infantry. In the past, this game was a no-brainer, as one only needs a rough-necked team of badasses to not get hit for 5 minutes. As it turns out we were inside the fort with a red and a green team from Berlin. However, the Brain Bug (profession, not condition!) leading our enemies in his wisdom was allowed to have his team starting 5m away the fort's wall.
We visited the respawn point shortly after the start only to find out that Team Berlin Green and Berlin Red liberated the fort already on returning. We joined their traffic light of doom and continued to push the bugs off field. The tide was turning.
Following a lunch break with lots of totally safe BBQs on dry grass, we carried on to game 5. We had to carry three mines as close to the enemy bases. The combined distance of meters from the various mines to base were measured and were the decisive criteria for victory. As a side note, this would be a nice game for NvS.
We grabbed a mine and attempted to unexpectedly go through the bunker between the respawn points for a kill, which was ambitious but ultimately rubbish. Fortunately, the rest of the team did better, making it a win for Mobile Infantry.
Surprisingly, the Mobile Infantry had caught up with the bug's score before the last game of the day. This game was pretty awesome, with three parallel missions each scoring one point in the same game; previous games scored one or two points, so this opened things up. The missions were to shoot water balloons with a sling into a 10m radius of the enemy base, the second to collect ammo for the slings to score extra points, and a hold and control scenario.
After helping out to defend the sling team, we joined the hold and control mission and cleared out a good portion of the field. In the end, we scored one mission, ending the day with a 4 to 6 point partial victory.
At the end of the day we left the day with a big smile, as the Mobile Infantry really showed the character to make a comeback. The size of field combined with the complexity of missions is absolutely unique in Germany and can be compared to Warped Paintball's mini big games. Team continue to developed new game ideas to challenge the players. As the Governor of California said: We'll be back! (With more markers)