Universal Exports - Team Ethos
Universal Exports are a mercenary team available for hire by the highest bidder. We aim to attend most major events across the UK, as well as a few international events. On the field we have a multitude of tactics we like to employ, such as 'hiding in a bush', 'shooting them before they shoot us', 'face planting onto a small ditch' and 'hiding behind the big bloke'. What we lack in skill and tactics we will always strive to make up with increased volume, aggression and of course even more paint.
Off the field, we like to sit back and sip on a dry Martini (shaken not stirred) although being a responsible Team we always make sure our designated drivers stay off the hard sprits and instead have a Heineken (bottled not draft). After a day's hard paintballing we will often be found at one of the fine eating or drinking establishments near our luxury hotel where we will regale the events of the day or days gone by, like the time we took on the entire might of Xerxes army with little more than a few pointy sticks and some dustbin lids or the time we ran away (but in a really manly way).
In this modern society of ambulance chasing compensation lawyers we like to ensure that safety is given its rightful place. We therefore have established a team policy of 'don't be bloody stupid' and pride ourselves with the almost spotless record (we've only had to go the hospital once, but he was ginger and partly Welsh so arguably that doesn't count).
We are always looking to build on our membership and welcome all players who have more money than sense and an underlying urge to go shoot the shit out of others. So if you want to be part of this (not quite so) elite fighting force this could be the team for you.