Charlie and the Chocolate Factory


Roald Dahl was racist! The Oompa-Loompas are pygmies from Africa. The illustrations by Joseph Schindelman show them with dark skin.

Willie Wonka is a white European who goes to a jungle and brings back a race of people different from himself who are his happy slaves. That's pretty disturbing. If you have the gift of literacy - not just to read but to analyse and understand? Maybe that's the real golden ticket.

Daily Mail wanted to print this story but it was just too shocking!! Wonkaleaks reveals the truth!

A shocking new investigation of candy mogul Willy Wonka has uncovered the famed chocolateer ran a massive sweatshop of dwarves who were forced to work as veritable slave labor within his factory.

Prosecutors say more than 300 dwarves worked for Wonka day and night - unpaid and often in dangerous conditions. It's believed he abducted the men from a Chicagoland Santa's Village theme park 12 years ago, where they had been working as part-time greeter elves.

Late yesterday, police freed the dwarves in a daring midnight raid. Many were taken to local hospitals showing signs of malnourishment, past flogging scars and severe radiation burns.

We believe the dwarves were exposed to high levels of radiation emitted from the nuclear-powered turbines that churned the factory's chocolate river, said District Attorney Clay Shaw. Over a long period of time, that radiation became so severe it actually turned their skin orange, and caused a greenish pigmentation to their hair. Mr. Wonka not only forced these poor men into slavery, his reckless labor practices transformed them into orange-faced mutants.

Wonka is already in hot water with authorities for endangering the lives of five youths and their families, many of whom were injured during a "hell tour" of his chocolate factory several weeks ago. Four of the children suffered serious injuries and are currently on life support.

Parents of the children said they aren't surprised by the latest allegations against Wonka.

He tried to feed us this load of bull that the midgets were from this imaginary place called 'Loompa Land' said Susan Teavee, the mother of the victim who turned extremely, extremely tiny. I didn't believe it for a minute - there's no such place. I should know, I am a teacher of geography.

In another startling twist, the Wacky Deli's investigation also discovered evidence Wonka engaged in corporate warfare against another chocolate mogul, even going so far as to hire an impersonator of the rival to defame his character.

For years, Mr. Wonka embarked on a misinformation campaign to discredit my company in the most unfavorable of lights, said Arthur Slugworth, President of Slugworth Chocolates, Incorporated. His impersonator bandied around the country, engaging in various illegal schemes to make me out to be some nefarious charlatan! The imposter went so far as to make it seem like I was trying to steal Wonka's secret candy recipes, when his spies were stealing mine the whole time!

Wonka's attorneys denied all accusations, saying the candy magnet was the victim of a left-wing witch hunt.

Mr. Wonka's strong advocacy of harnessing safe and reliable nuclear power in the chocolate-making industry has made him a target of liberal extremists, said Lonny Bochran, Wonka's lead defense attorney. They don't agree, so they want to see - my client in prison.